I wanted to discuss the importance of handling children the proper way for your San Francisco city hall wedding. We love children and always try to incorporate them fully into our City Hall wedding photography images. In this post, I will talk about the importance of doing this and also some helpful hints on how to make it work successfully. I also found this great article from “Parents” magazine about how to incorporate children into your wedding I have included more information regarding children at SF City Hall in the main part of my photography website. Click here to check out more about Kids at weddings. As you can see, I have put a lot of thought into this because I think it is super important. If you have children and you want them at your wedding there are a number of things that can really help make the day go smoothly. We will be talking a lot about how to involve the children in the ceremony and the photography throughout the day. Read on to find out more!
Assign a Baby Sitter During the Wedding Ceremony
There are quite a few things to consider when bringing your children to your San Francisco city hall wedding. If one of your children is still a baby you may want to make sure that you schedule your wedding to work around their nap time. This may not seem like an easy thing to do but if you login to the City Hall website early enough you can pick your time. The last thing you want is to have the ceremony occur right during the children’s most tired and grumpy time. Make sure that you bring another adult or older sibling who can watch and entertain the baby if needed. The preference would be to choose someone who can miss the ceremony in case the baby is crying. If a family member is watching the baby they may be inclined to stick around during the ceremony which can be quite disruptive. On the other hand, many experts feel that this is just part of the natural way things happen and so it’s ok for the baby to cry. It truly doesn’t bother me one way or the other as long as everybody else is happy. I have sometimes seen city hall officiants pause during the ceremony which draws attention to the crying child.
I would suggest bringing the family babysitter or nanny, if you have a special one. In addition, you don’t want your ceremony ruined because you are concerned about your unhappy baby. The baby will not know what they missed if they are not present during the ceremony and the babysitter will not mind taking them aside. If your child is crying or acting up, you will be focused on the baby and unable to direct your attention towards each other during your San Francisco city hall ceremony. The typical civil ceremony is only 4 or 5 minutes long, so it should not be too difficult to only have to focus on your new spouse during that time.
Babysitter is a Great Idea During the Formal Wedding Photography
The babysitter can also be quite helpful when it comes time to take the wedding photos around the building. We call this our San Francisco city hall wedding photography tour and it goes much better if we have the the bride and groom’s undivided attention. Have the babysitter or nanny keep your child nearby during this photo session and perhaps choose the right moments to include your kid in a picture. The biggest mistake parents (and some wedding photographers) make when trying to capture photos with the kids is to try to force it when the child is not ready. Time and time again, I have seen a son or daughter decide on their own that they now want to be in the wedding pictures. This can be true even in those cases where you might have thought this was impossible only a few minutes earlier. In fact, sometimes the best way to get the child to want to be in the picture is to purposely leave them out. Those of you reading this who have children know exactly what I mean! If you try to incorporate the child into the family pictures and they refuse just move on without them. You might be surprised at their reaction. Why? Because at this point, they have lost their control of the situation. The focus is no longer on them because we are moving on without them. It usually doesn’t take long for the child to come back and want to be in ALL of the pictures.
Involve the Older Children in the Wedding Photos
Older children seeing one of their parents getting remarried can experience some jealousy and fear. It can be a big change in their life and they may wonder how they fit into the new family. One thing you can do is to make sure to involve them significantly in the wedding photography portion of the day. Include them in as many pictures as you can to make them understand that they are important and involved in the couple’s new life together. If possible, you may even want to try to include them in the actual city hall wedding ceremony somehow. Maybe they can hold the wedding rings or the flowers. Just don’t have them be a bystander like everyone else. This is your chance to make them feel special and different. I especially feel that this is an important thing to do early on. This sets the tone for the entire day and makes the child understand that they are an important part of the wedding celebration.
In some cases, it might even be appropriate to have them stand up there with you during the ceremony. This is entirely up to you and San Francisco city hall has no problem with it. We have seen couples even have vows written specifically for the children. These vows can help spell out the child’s involvement in the future blended family. For a reserved San Francisco city hall wedding, you can even have them be part of one of the wedding rituals like lighting candles or pouring sand. Again, every effort should be made to make children feel like they are a significant part of your marriage celebration.
Realize Your Children’s Limitations During your Wedding
Even though we strongly recommend getting the little ones involved on your San Francisco city hall wedding day, it’s also important to understand that they will be tired at some point. Make it part of your plan to have someone take the really small children home before they burn out. You know your kids better than anyone and so you should be able to figure out when they are going to be ready to leave. It is very important that you have someone who knows them well and can take care of them when needed. Yes, you want to make sure your kids are involved and happy, but you also need to realize that your wedding day is about the 2 of you! Make sure to set some time aside for you both! The main thing is to achieve balance between both extremes. This is especially true if you decided to hire your San Francisco city hall wedding photographer for extensive coverage. You want to be able to focus on your photos and not on your tired child. The photo below shows another really great way to keep the child involved. She feels like the center of attention in this photo and is even holding mom’s bouquet. This child knows that she is special and that she is a significant part of your City Hall wedding day.
Bring Snacks and Games to Keep Them Occupied During the Wedding
I strongly recommend bringing things for your children to do at the wedding. This includes snacks for them when they get hungry or juice boxes if they get thirsty. Your child certainly has some favorite games and it would be a smart idea to bring those to the wedding as well. Doing this for your children accomplishes 2 major things. First of all, it lets them know that you care enough about them to make sure they are happy. As mentioned previously this is important because your child may be thinking that they are less important to you because you are getting married to somebody else. Just make sure the games do not make too much noise, because SF City Hall has rules about disruptive noise.
The second reason is obvious. Weddings can take a long time and it gives your child something to do and keeps them from being too bored. Most of this is common sense, but parents often are so overwhelmed with planning their own wedding that they forget about the child’s needs. If you are able to bring a babysitter or nanny think about assigning them the duty of the children’s wedding planning. If the babysitter is a regular in your child’s life they will know what things to bring to keep your child occupied and happy. This will make everyone’s life easier and help make your wedding as good as it can be.